ohhi east side

6:39 PM |

she had it all. the looks the right friends. the others were so jealous. Even though you were poor people understood. cuz most everyone else was poor too. he took your virginity in the ball park behind his best friends house. "I got you babe". you gave him his proudest moment. flying down parker st on banana boards. remember when cheri wiped out and the skin from her legs was sprawled out all across the steep road?

You had a blanket for a bathroom door. and so you never closed the bathroom door even in houses with real doors. the first time you did acid you dropped before you remembered that you took some exlax and so you sat on that toilet reading mad magazines through out the whole trip.

you did the best you could with what you had. and your mother was dear. your father was a piece of shit that didn't do nothing but drink and complain and finally she had to throw the bastard out. Earl Scrags his saving grace.

you made me grow up fast. because you refused to ever grow up. but I knew what was right and what was wrong. so you taught me how to deal with the powerlessness of my plight. you taught me to accept the things I can not change. and to have the strength to change what I can. You gave me pride in seeing that I could be a man. I could know it for myself. what I need to know to carry on. that I don't need anyone. and that it's ok that no one needs me. Like a stray cat. living off of the mice that I'm fast enough to catch. I look at the moon and wonder with the gifted wisdom of a failed production. You gave me all the tools I will ever need to survive. to know that people are unpredictable and selfish. unreliable and therefor only to be used. You taught me how to fear being alone. and then you sent me into the cold. with the fear but without the knowledge of how to fight back against the biting winds.

You've always just done your best to have a good time and get by the best you can with what you got. and to appreciate what you have. You made mistakes as do we all. but you always got back up gracefully and your bruises always healed. and so I carry on. following your foot prints in the snow. looking to the sun and soaking in its rays and appreciating what it's worth against the mountain of snow and ice that encompasses me.