they tore off my fingertips. they clawed out my eyes. they squeezed on my testicles and stuck molten steal into my heart. they cut off my nose and ears. they rolled me around in broken glass. they pushed me off of a cliff blindfolded and naked. All while they insulted me in every which way you could possibly even imagine. insults that cut deeper then the broken glass ever could. they took my soul from my body and put it up on display. only for it to be mocked and categorized as a failure. It was the end of the line. they could do no more. they cut and jabbed and ripped and broke every inch of confidence that lied still in me. and then they through me out as if it were not even worth their time to destroy me. to put the bullet in the chamber. as if to demolish me weren't even worth the effort to do so because the world had a Billion better offerings. how meaningless. how worthless. how perpetually dumb and boring we all are. how we sit and wait for the sun to shine. all while it's burning our noses and cheeks. how every time we pull the trigger we expect something different to happen. How every time we fall in love we think this time it will work. no matter what it is. it all gets old after time.