ohhi while I wait

11:51 AM |

they all know
they all see
what good am I to the human race
im wasting good oxygen
no only that but I breathe out smoke when I exhale
i take my hands and I reach for the world but the world jerks away
I want the world but the world doesn't want me
I want all the money
all the women
all the jewelry
all the houses
all the cars
all the babies and grand babies
the best food
the best wine
the best weather
the best friends
the best health
the best family
the best lovers
the best life you could possibly live

but they won't even allow me to Look at it
let alone try one on for myself
they won't let me touch it or smell the interior
they won't even let me in the building or even on the parking lot
they won't even let me know that it even exists

I keep waiting for them to call my name
but when my number gets called they say they're all out
sorry sir you'll have to wait

wait for what?
wait to wait?
why should I wait for it knowing full well that none of it waits for me?
I keep waiting and waiting and waiting.
I fool myself once in a while into believing that I have a chance
believing that I'm here for a reason and that it just hasn't come to be
so I continue to wait
wait so I can keep on waiting
keeping that glimmer of hope in the forfront of my mind
protecting me from the truth that sits like a rock in the back of my mind that there's nothing in my horizon.

waiting for nothing but more of the same. more of what everyday has always been.

and while I wait they fly by in their fancy cars
they stare at me through the windows of their mansions
they frown on me when we have to share the sidewalk
they smile in my face while they buy expensive flowers for their beautiful girl friends
they honk their horns if I take too long getting across the street and they curse me when they finally get to pass

and they know. they know they have it and that I don't.
and they take pride in that fact.
the fact that they're better off.
that they have everything and I have nothing
they take pride in the fact that I will never live a day in their shoes.
in their magic shoes that only fit on their magic feet.

how I would love to watch them fall on their face. or even just to see them bump their head on a tree branch while they're walking down the street not looking where they're going.
to see them look stupid
to see them lose their firm grasp on their position in the human race if just for a moment.
to see just a smidgen of humility.
to me that's worth waiting for.