ohhi start again

7:43 PM |

what I live for
I live for the sun and the trees and the sidewalk.
I live for my cat whos always there and always wants food
I live for the chemtrails being placed in the sky above an unsuspecting public
I live for the next big story of how men of power are squashing ants with their thumbs and then rubbing them between their fingers till they drop on the floor and seemingly vanish before they hit the carpet
I live for the parking meters who are always there wanting money
I live for the train that takes me where I need to be and is always on time
I live for the old man that died without having lived his dreams
I live so I can keep on living
I live one day at a time
one minute at a time
one second at a time
taking in every moment as if it were my first and my last
i live so I can hear from that old friend who I haven't heard from nor even thought of in years
I live for that feeling you get when you take a deep drag off a cigarette after having gulped down a few sips of piping hot coffee
I live for how good the marijuana tastes in the morning when I'm watching the sun rise and watching the news
I live to play chess, I should be a lot better than I am after having been playing for as long as I have
I live for that long nap and a nice dream about something good
I live to fight, fight through another day of misery and confusion
I live to rise out of bed and say "fuck not again"
I live to see the clouds that terrify me now because of the way they taunt my broken body
I live because I was born and I'm expected to live
I live because I dont really give a damn anymore
I live because the world is an awful place and I want to see it burn
I live to stare at my feet as I walk by people I dont want to see

because I dont live for them.
I could give a flying fuck less about you or them or us or we or any living breathing thing that knows how to talk.
give an animal a mouth and it'll chew your ear off

I surely dont live for them
I'd much rather see them all die.
than I could be alone in peace.
I dont mind being alone.
It's knowing that I'm alone in a world filled with people that makes me regret being alone
because there's so many people I guess I should get to know some of them.
or, why haven't any of them asked about me?
are they really there?
am I really here?
does any of this really matter?
does it even exist?
where do you go when there's no where to go?

no I dont live for them.
I live for me baby
I live so I can live and thats the only reason
you've got your reasons and I've got mine
so whats the point in trying to fool each other into thinking either of us really give a shit about one another cuz it just aint natural
the world has fallen apart and we rebuilt it in our own image
our retched disfigured impractical degenerate bastard selves.

either you dont know or you dont care

blow it up
blow it all up
kill them all off
do like we did to the indians
just pass out blankets filled with some disease and reclaim this land

so we can start over and make things holy once again.