I wake up
I make myself some coffee
then I remember that I forgot to buy some more
then I spend the whole day stressed out
because at some point
I'm going to have to go to the store
I'd rather sit here and get loaded
and just write these nonsensical poems about you
but I can't even get out of bed without some coffee
so if I'm going to write more
then I'm going to have to go out
I'll put a shirt on
tie my shoes
put on my sunglasses
look in the mirror to make sure I look ok
as long as I don't look like a Complete degenerate
then I'm ok
I forgot to buy coffee
how could I forget
that was one of the only reasons why I went down there
Now I gotta put on a shirt
put on my sunglasses
check myself in the mirror
make sure I look ok
just to get some fucking coffee
it's been all day like this
me watching my rations shrink
with each filling of the cup
like a barometer of anxiety
out there will be the same people that are always out there
black people yelling at each other from across the street
the guy on the corner selling incense
the dollar store filled with kids and their grand parents
everyone shuffling around
getting in each others way
I say "excuse me"
and "wope sorry about that."
but no one notices
no one notices I'm out
walking down the streets
no sirens
no mob of people holding cameras
pens pressed to their notebooks
all asking questions
no none of that
just the sound of the train
and some dogs barking
maybe a siren in the distance
but nothing worth all this apprehension
what is it about the outside world
that violent mob that calls themselves humanity
and calls everything else otherwise
I'll have to buy some coffee
before they close
it's been all day like this
how could I have forgot