what is it about Love, Courtney?
I was with this woman for 6 years
I was like a Saint
at the height of my musical career
name in the paper as the act to look out for
and this wasn't just any pee on no name industry
like the towns I'd worked over before
Naw, this was San Francisco
nominated "Band of the Month" by a local poll
Headlining major underground venues
to highly enlightened crowds
and after only having been here Six Months
I mean I punched this town right in the Face
and they liked it

at a time when every time I got off stage
there was a pretty girl there waiting
giving me the eye
that "you can take me home if you want to" look
the kind that kept me going
the kind that got me writing music

but I kept it in my pants
like a Catholic Priest!
not even Kissing another girl
and without regret
after the show we'd go home
our cat greeting us at the door
a Real Home
quiet and orderly
where there's food in the fridge
and a soft bed to lay on.
I loved that girl
more than I've ever been able to love myself
we'd hit up thrift stores
going through people's junk
finding great records and bizarre nick knacks
she'd pile up all these dead people's clothes
and then sell them on ebay with her perfect body
her perfect body that just never quit
she was the best
that's why I stayed true
because I knew it
as much as I knew the sun would rise in the morning

and so what am I left with now
now that my acclaim has dissipated
now that the attention is gone
now that I'm faceless
the girls don't look twice
and the clubs don't call back
the girl?
she ran off with some trashy loser
I'm sure he's having a swell time.
"it's for the business!" she always claimed
as to why she didn't post pics of us on her website
then wouldn't you know it
the second she hooks up with this other guy
nothing but pictures of them together
embracing one another
in the tackiest of arenas
as if they were the perfect match
when I look at his face
I see a million faces
there with my diamond
whom I'd roamed the Earth desperately to find
giving herself away
to the lowest common denominator
such greatness in my mind
turning hollow and brittle

my life went to hell
everyone died
cancer, heroin, police brutality
it was a mess
while everyone around her acted like vultures
swooping and clawing
squawking and nipping
if they had acted as human beings
and given me five seconds to recover
things would have improved
and life would have gotten better
for the both of us

no one is ever good enough
we live in these dreams
and we die in our nightmares