will I waste today like I've wasted all week? will I sit here and think about what I could be doing rather then just actually getting up and doing anything of what I'm supposed to do? or will I just lie here? waiting on what ever it is I'm waiting for. people to shut up. jokes that are funny. for sex that's worth a damn. Love that isn't hopeless. waiting for the drugs to kick in. the cashier clerk to ring up my total. the doctor to call out my name. waiting for the light to change. the water to boil. for a moment when I don't feel like I'm waiting on anything. for a moment when I finally find something real.

...and So I drink and I smoke and eat what little food I have left while I wait some more. waiting for the indifference to settle. waiting for the sun to come up. waiting for the sun to go down. waiting for so long that I forget what it was I started waiting on. I guess men of my predisposition have always been the last in line. there are those that wait and those that are weighted on. I guess I'm waiting to find someone out there that's waiting for me. Someone who's anxious when I'm not around. and satisfied when I arrive. looking to me as their sunrise and their sun set. someone who will watch over me with approval. adhere to my charms. appreciate my worth. Someone who can stop time. if even just for a moment.