another day of wasted breath
thinking about things I've already thought about a million times before.
trouble is no ones listening.
trouble is no one gets it.
no one understands.
they imagine themselves in my shoes and they respond with their logic
never realizing the emotions involved.
you think you're ready till one day it hits you that you don't know shit

all your studying all your praying all your preparations and still it hits you like a ton of bricks.

its all the same. i remember my home. i remember the good days. i leave out the bad. there was once a time when i lived like a king. someone filled me up and made me feel like i could show my head with style. now my scattered remains are all thats left to keep my mind occupied so as to keep me from having to think. block it out block it out. its all meaningless anyways. its all the same shit. boy meets girl girl meets boy. fuck and be happy. does anyone ever really get a piece of that? even the rich with all their pompous gestures don't really own any more then we do. they act like they do but the moment the door swings shut they pop the pills and reach for the same escape mechanisms that everyone else feels ashamed by. they buy their love so they think they have it on lock down. but they cut each others heads off for it just the same. they scrounge and beg and steal and kill for it just as we do.

we had it. we found it. we kept it burning. too much too soon perhaps. among many other excuses. where are you now. I hope you're ok. remember the good times. forget about the bad. we had some good times didn't we? I remember seeing you smile at least once. maybe it was an accident. maybe it never should have happened. I never would have made it this far if it hadn't. I'm sorry I was too much to bare. I'm sorry I took up so much of your time.