I think I'll go ahead and lose my mind. It's not like anyone would notice. what difference would it make. I could just start conversations with myself. get violent for no apparent reason. scream at the world with an empty suitcase in my hand. Blaming everyone I see for my own misery. Blatantly call out anyone who dare make eye contact with me. I'll wear a suit every day. I won't ask for change but I won't starve either. I'll run from nobody at all. I'll philosophies with pigeons. I'll use newspaper for toilet paper. Shit in the sidewalk. Live like an animal. Just go ahead and lose my mind. it'd be better than being totally aware of it all. Anything would be better than knowing the truth about life. the insane must truly know bliss. To be able to distance themselves from reality so far to the point where the lines are blurred and crossed and not only does nothing make sense but nothing HAS to make sense. It's all insane. to be sane is insane. to think that we really do understand everything and that nothing is a mystery is insane. All you have to do is look up. look down look straight ahead. it's all around you. how in the world could you understand all this. It's mind boggling even to begin to think that it can all just simply be explained as "natural". nothing is natural. not even ants are just "natural". everything nothing the end the beginning the front the rear the top the bottom the inside the outside the reflex the project the assertions are astounding! to believe for a moment that all of this is simply explainable and to be mastered accordingly is to believe that you created your own existence by sheer will.who knows
