there's nothing there. no love no compassion no inspiration no admiration no respect no synchronicity no support no dignity no partnership no cooperation no residuals no offerings no dinner no roof no bed no walls no lights no cats no kisses no long rides home no shopping no talking no listening no laughing no embracing no love making no good night kisses no movies no thrift stores no tobacco stores no long waits in the waiting room waiting to hear my name called so i can beg the doctor for advice and medication no having to sit there knowing that I'm not good enough no having to wait around for her to come home knowing the whole time that when she gets home she won't say good night and she won't tell me she loves me and if I ask her to she will scream and confront me with all my inadequacies no telling me what to do no favors no retreat no holding her from behind and slow dancing to music thats only in our heads and kissing her on the neck and telling her I love her while she stirs whats in the frying pan no ridicule no having to worry about what her mother is saying about me to everyone no having to worry about what will happen if she leaves no having to feel the hurt of knowing she's letting another person please her no more having the responsibility to make sure I'm standing up straight and speaking properly no more waiting around while she goes through every single item all the way down the line and back again looking maticulously at every item as though she were inspecting diamonds no more having to hear her call everything I own clutter no more having to sacrifice everything and getting nothing but bitterness and indifference in return
they lied to her dont you see
they told her I was no good
that I didn't love her
that I wasn't good enough
that she had no future sticking with a guy like me
a guy like me.
what good am I. what good am I to the world. what role do I serve. what service do i provide. what mechanical subjegated talents do I possess. what is the point in my having ever been born
whats the meaning of my life. why would anyone spend more than a few moments in my vicinity if'n only to observe how worthless I am and how I they and everyone they know would be happier if they had never had to bare witness to such a completely utterless waste of good space.
but you see I am good. I am worthwhile. I am noteworthy. I am important. I am relevant.
I see things others dont see
I hear things others dont hear
I feel things others dont feel
I know things others dont know
I think things others dont think
I recognize things others dont recognize
I take things others dont take
and I give things others dont give
I love things others dont love
I understand things others dont understand
I realize things others dont realize
I touch things others wont touch
I involve myself in things others wouldn't
you see I do serve a purpose. I'm here because I'm here just as we all are.
