They took so much blood out of me I just about fainted on my way home. I must have looked drunk to anyone that saw me. I grabbed a cheap sandwich and wobbled my way home.
"HEllo..." I said as I marched into my dorm. we mumbled something back and forth before my gestural closing of the door.
I tore into the sandwich with great relief. Like an africans first Bigmac.
time went by quick. I was hesitating. It never goes the way it's supposed to. They never just say "Ok here you go. not a problem"
Pete had offered me a ride earlier. Or I think I asked him for one. but either way I finally bit into what little bit of pride I still have left and accepted and/or requested the ride. I put on the surgery mask they gave me at the clinic so as not to get him sick. Spreading my germs in his tight fit car.
We listened to smooth jazz piano along the way. It was a quick jot. Though I wouldn't have made it walkin with all the blood they'd taken outta me. "I Feel Drunk dude." I said to pete. "I think I know now how that 'blood letting' stuff was so popular back in the day".
"Yea that's nice doc. Throw another leach on there." Pete said agreeing wholeheartedly.
woozy. kind of nice. relaxed and calm. I through my arm over the passenger headrest that was covered in duct tape.
"Merci Merci mon frère. vraiment beacoup" I said closing the door.
"call me if you need a ride back."
"thanks."
I made my way up the building. the waiting room was only half full. which I took as a token of good luck and maybe unknowingly good timing. I got signed in and claimed my seat. some Chris Rock television show I've never bothered watching was on. Even sitting in a waiting room in a hospital my mind drifted from that shit. I had a book. "artificial paradises" by Charles Baudlaire. A gift from my dear friend from abroad. She thinks I'm lazy because I don't read like she does. I can't even finish my own thoughts though sometimes. let alone someone elses. So I read the forward and just as I finished they called me in.
They were rude. "Get on the bed." the orderly ordered. I was drunk from blood letting. I knew from the batt that they were in for some trouble. "What about this stuff?" I said about the pile of towels and stuff laying on it.
I unbuttoned my shirt and through the pile he was ignoring onto the trash can. I layed there while he stuck little blue things around my nipples and my ankles and such. "you're gonna have to be cool with me I'm a little out of it from all the blood they took from me". He was having none of it. acting like a trash man taking garbage. Like a fry cook salting fries.
"Nope" I said "I'm in here to get my Lungs checked out. Not my heart."
"Well we just like to make sure.." blobiddy blahblah
I've heard it all before. They got a program. That way they feel like they know what they doing.
They told me I "Could" go back and sit in the waiting room. I felt privileged. The magic of language. can change the way you look at anything really. I sat back down and dug out my sony device to try and get on the web. No out pouring of "hacks is in the hospital oh no" from what I could tell. which was disappointing but relieving at the same time. less consequences. the damn thing wouldn't let me post a message about how frustrated I was getting after about the Fifth hour of sitting there waiting. Which only added to my growing dissatisfaction.
I got into my curtain cubicle of crisis. I sat there waiting. with specific instruction by my doctor that this is what I was supposed to be doing. The nurse came and she wanted blood.
"Oh My God! Look Look! They've already taken PINTS out of me this morning." I said rolling up the sleeve of my right arm to show her the cotton balls taped to my arm.
"Well we just need a lit.."
"Oh cmon!" I interrupted. "I've been here for 5 hours just to get a CT scan. My doctor told me to come to here because they don't have one there and to do it through the Emergency room so I could get it done in the same day"
"Well we just need to test to see if you have a any blood clots."
"Fine!" I said holding my left hand up to be drained on.
Fucking Blood suckers I thought to myself as I looked the other way.
I asked her to be kind. She begrudgingly agreed. I said something funny but I can't remember what. She seemed to be somewhat less of a hateful old scag after that.
The Nurse quickly left after sucking my blood and again I waited. I listened in on what was happening in the space next to me behind the yellow curtain. Some little old woman and some young asshole trying to tell her that using a crutch is like playing hop scotch. they're so fucking condescending. the mother fuckers act like they're all above us. Like we're helpless retards. And that we should be thankful that we even get a fucking band aid. Like they're prince and princesses. They fucking scum. Listening to the way that young piece of shit talk down that old couple made my skin crawl. I fought the urge heavily to open the curtain up and say "Dude cut the old broad some slack will ya? She's not in here wasting time. She needs some encouragement." but instead I just sat there. Chewing away at my gums.
Some cute little half black half asian girl came in dressed in purple. She sounded so sweet too the way she was talking to me. the tone of her voice. Her charm. Her innocence. It was very pleasant. and then "A.I.D.S. test..." something rather I heard come out of her mouth.
I said " Wait? What now??"
"an aids test. its just a simple thing with swa.."
"No no." I said laughing quietly.
"But you're the sweetest person I've ran into all day in here I must say"
"aww well thank you." She said as she closed back the curtain.
Finally the doctor arrived. I could tell just by the look in her eyes that she was a cunt of the highest order. I fought hard just to keep my mouth shut and let her talk her privileged piece of shit know nothing specialized in being a complete worthless amount of fuck ass go through her spiel. I finally had to interrupt her. And repeat verbatim in monotone exactly the same phrase I had memorized as to Why I had just wasted 7 hours of my life just so I could be GRACED by her fucking presence. Though I said in much kinder words. Even when she venomously asked "do you use drugs?"
"Well it's probably asthma and smoking."
''LOOK. I've been here for 7 hours. I need a CT scan. I'm here by the doctors orders"
"Well I'm sorry but there have been people dying from Heart attacks back here"
"Yes well I'm sorry about that but this is My life now isn't it?"
"well we'll have to see what the blood tests show."
"Why do we have to wait for what the blood tests show? My Doctor told me to come here today?"
She got ruder by the second. I impolitely shut her out and let her get on to her other patients whom I felt even More sorry for now after having met the worthless cunt that was in charge of medicine around here.
I waited for her to come back. Knowing full well what was needed to be done was not going to be done just out of spite. She came in with a cock sucking smile on her face.
"Well the blood tests show that there's not a blood clot in your veins"
"So what does that mean?"
"That means we don't have to do a CT scan becau.."
"What if I had lung Cancer? What would be the best way to find that out?"
"Well we'd run a CT Sca.."
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"
I exploded. The way she started in with her robotic henchman tone explaining to me that she knew perfectly well what I needed and that she was just refusing it to me. I just couldn't take it anymore. "You're discharged" she said. Sounding like a spoiled child. I yelled at her clear across the room bolting from my bed and following her across the room. I stopped in the middle of the room and stayed loud enough for her to hear me as she scampered off to her office to hide.
"I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO WHOS IN CHARGE HERE!" I yelled into the air.
an orderly was asked to come over to talk to dressed head to toe in blue. looking like a laundry boy.
"YOU'RE NOT HER HIGHER UP!" I yelled at him.
"I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO HER MANAGER" I started yelling at him.
"well I can give you the number of her boss." he politely offered obviously understanding my plight.
"YEA. WHAT IS IT? an EMAIL? an ANSWERING MACHINE?"
he handed it to me.
"He's been discharged" the cunt came out saying as a hint to kick me out.
"I'M DONE TALKING TO YOU" I yelled directly in her face.
"Good." she said as she coward away back into her den.
"Can I talk to her now den" an over weight black woman comically injected.
I took the number from the orderly's hand and started dialing. It was an answering machine just as I suspected. I stood there and left a long loud hate ridden message for all to hear. grievances. prejudices. A Woman Undeserving of her position. GROSS NEGLIGENCE!
Soon a security guard came out and while I was finishing the message I saw them pointing me out to him from across the room.
"You're not in Charge of her!" I said with a smile on my face. It was amazing. Everyone was on my side. Everyone there KNEW that every word I was saying was true. but they, as I, were completely powerless. We all just stood there. Not knowing what to do. I finally accepted my fate and went out and caused a scene in the waiting room as well. Just to let them know the kind of Death Squad they were taking part in.
an elderly old black woman in a hospital gown asked me for a light while I was waiting outside for pete to come pick me up. I had given it to her to light for herself as I always thought it rude when people would light cigarettes for people upon asking if they had a light. As if you were going to steal it somehow. or like you had cooties. but after several tries she couldn't get the damn thing lit. "there's a trick to it" I said as I gently took it from her hand. with one click I got it burning. "Ya know, they're quick to tell us it's our own damn fault for being here".
"Don't I know it." she said after getting in that first good drag.
