Workin on some new shit. Links up top are still good.

again and again like a rodent I'm just smart enough to survive never champion always the victim even in m greatest hour i was merely overcoming circumstances bettering my surroundings giving them the ol what for telling the world to it's face how awful it is something in the way something we all agree is right something no one can ever take away but nothing ever lasts so nothing really matters we're all just here and now overcoming circumstances a bullet to the head solves everything some things are worth fighting for she clawed her way home. Just to talk to me. "my heal broke at the train. and all I kept telling myself was that if I can just make it home to talk to William." she was frantic like a cat in the rain. but now she was home with poor alma in her lap and me on the computer.

If I had a million dollars
would that still not be enough
to have your love\
to have your love

If I had all the power
make the world bend to my will
you'd turn away
you'd turn away

wasting all my love on you

If I had all the answers
to all of your prayers
couldn't believe
would you believe

If I owned a giant castle
and i offered you the crown
you'd throw it away
you'd throw it away

wastin all my love on you

what happened to this place? I turned my back for a second and the whole thing disappeared. not even the Trees look the same what the fuck happened? did everyone die? was there a mass transit system built just for the people who used to live here? that went to some magic place where they were never heard from again? what happened? tell me? was it you? who wasn't watching their post? who let their guard down? a hundred years of history a culture as thick as blood signs everywhere Don't come here if you're a fuckhead FUckheads NOT welcome the cool kids with their plot of land you let it slip away People told me letters sent in despair "the mission isn't the mission anymore" I couldn't believe them. it was the last great hold out on Earth the last breath of a dead society the one place I could hang my hat without having to worry about if stupids around YUPPIES ARE A CANCER they look like you and me that is to say they have feet and hands but you can tell by one look in their eyes they'll never live like common people.

Thank God for Slavery
how boring would this country be
if it hadn't been for Slavery
Duke Ellington
Ella Fitzgerald
Thelonious Monk
Tupac Shakur
All brought here against their ancestors will

The Irish had to Beg their way in
but not black people
The dark skinned world had a destiny
set in the rivers of time
They would be brought here
in chains
by the millions
because it was the only way
to make this nation great

So I say Thank God for slavery
if that's what had to be done
if that was the only way
for us to have a Malcolm X
a John Brown
a Richard Pryor
if slavery was the only way
to have rock and roll
to have long winded speeches
written by politicians
who were the last to get in line

No, I say Thank God for slavery
what separates us from Europe?
the White people
how did we become "white"?
when Germans stayed "German"

how dull
how peaceful
how much more sterile could we be
without the Boil
the Sickness
the Strife
conviction
Revolution!

None of this would have been Possible
nothing would have ever happened
no songs
no turbulence
no epic battles having been won
no unyielding current of ideas
about Liberty
and Justice
about what's best for All

No amount of ancient heritage
could match our growing pains
the get rich or die trying mantra
the "only way we know how"
that got us through "the war"

from the retards in the woods
to the aristocrats standing out on their balconies
slavery has touched us all
and made us better for it

for some it's home. it's the place they grew up.
it's where all their best memories are stored
hopes and dreams around every corner

for me, it's the land of failed friendships and dead girl friends.
shitty landlords and even shittier doctors.
dirty looks and cold shoulders
a place where there's more heroin then there are joints being smoked,
yet there's so many laws that you're afraid to cross the street
a town where street cleaners tell you to piss in the alley
first come first serve
all the toys held up high

the land where nothing happened
where I waited for long enough
a town where the best thing that Did happen
was just another failure

"customers only"
try to get on the A-list if you can
a pile of bodies
where everyone is trying to get on top

After three months of living here
Kurt Cobain became the most obvious thing in the world

in a land of homophobic wife beaters
a place where everyone hates themselves
a place where even your own mother can't be trusted

I can see it in the old ones
I can see how they remember this place
like there used to be magic
but now
now its apple computers and money rock
lesbians and frustrated dudes
the place where they throw the fish
cops with no one to bully because everyone follows the rules.
the city that always sleeps by ten

like it never happened
it helped spur commerce
so at least some people got rich
if he hadn't killed himself
god knows how lame this town would be
at least they have a Jesus

at least.

these dead neurons
this hopeless tissue
this never ending darkness
roaming blindly
from street corner to street corner
never noticing anything
everything invisible
then within an instant
like a trickle of sunlight
a decorated presence
skipping to my door step
a gift
something absolutely true
a confirmation
reason
to know all
but to care for nothing
the curse of intelligence
to always be looking down
with a certain magic
some Luck
hope for the hopeless
some change in a jar

so many ways
so many ways
so many excuses
like an uncapturable light
a moment of rescue
a tiny sense of relief
all hell surrounding us
with peace in our foxhole
run away with me
run away with me forever
into shallow unmarked graves
into mystery
into nowhere
into nothing
I failed you
in so many ways
so many ways.

poerty is for the weak.
the broken hearted
the low spirit.
the beaten down
the losers
the ones that never get anywhere
but still fight
they want to hear the words.
from someone elses lips
that Life SUCKS
but that it's Worth it
it's worth it to fight
to claw
to chew and destroy
it's all worth it
cause what else is there
but to die
wishing you there.

THEY SAID IT CAN'T BE DONE!
IT'S ALL BEEN DONE BEFORE!
BUT THEN COMES THE SPERM
SURROUNDING THOSE HELPLESS EGGS
AND LIKE CANCER CELLS THEY GROW
AND NOW THEY'RE HERE
READY FOR THE KILL
TAKING THE WORLD BY STORM
LANGOLIERS!
LANGOLIERS!
EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM
CHEWING UP EVERY BIT OF BULLSHIT
STOMPING ON THEIR GRAVES
SLICE A THROAT FOR ME WILL YA
THEY DESERVE KILLIN
YOU CAN'T EAT EM
BUT WHAT THE HELL
THEY'RE GETTING IN THE WAY OF THINGS
RAPE THE UNRAPEABLE
MUTILATE AND SHRED
CHEW UP AND GARBLE
SPIT OUT WHATS LEFT
AND CALL IT A DAY

I die and I die and I die

every day we die
the moon as our tombstone
the ocean bleeds
and the sky breathes
the animals walk in it
the world dominates
penetrates
expands
and degenerates
just a glimpse
a glimpse of the other side
pure sugar
the butterfly stretching its wings
birds and monkeys
helpless
dominated
surrounded by death
how terrifying this world must be
how nightmarish.
we push play
their eyes widen in fear
nothing can stop the sound
nothing can prevent the flood
the ocean bleeds
the volcanoes flex
comets and stars
asteroids and sun beams
We ARE we are
the reality in language.
the reality in sound
feeling our way through
scream
scream
loud enough to frighten a crowd
it's too late now
this gluttonous cancer
we live to die
we live to kill
we feed on our victims
and we flush ourselves into the sea
the ocean bleeds shit
it tastes us
walking on it's back
it prays for an asteroid
the only thing that can stop it
is total death
total fucking death

-> new station http://oldhack.tumblr.com


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yea, so what's the point anymore
I could write a thousand poems
Courtney you just are poetry
so I steal from your muse
I nip and bite
I hymn I hum
I bite my tongue
all the treachery
all the unwillingness
all the hatred
all for nothing
all so you can be a poem
not enough time
we all die young
when we're all young at heart

oh fuck, I'm in love
you look and you look and you look
and people look back
and nothing's ever right
and it's lonely
and boring
and then like a wrecking ball
you find a perfect fit
and suddenly everything makes sense
a snowflake in a volcano
salvation
it doesn't even matter if it works out
because it happens
and you witness it like a UFO
unexplainable
uncapturable
suddenly everything is in tune
like a drug that never quits
we blame ourselves forever
we dress ourselves in our well defined shame
our over examined egos
our trampled souls
then the sun trickles in
and the warmth from a million miles away
caresses us in our evil
washes away the darkness
encompasses our spirit
making plants stretch
and roosters crow
dogs ears perk
and trees whisper
spinning illustriously
as if perfect

what a waste
to have found it now
after having been searching forever
and to be down to shreds
what a waste
to see a future
to have it dangled in my face
as if it were there the entire time
waiting for the perfect moment
to taunt my fading extacy

but better to have seen it
the glory of the light
then to live on without knowing
to live in nothing but darkness
to never hear the sounds
of ancient wisdom
what has carried us this far
here all along.

"hey Kurt. Hi Kurt."
some little girl heckled from behind.
I'm a relic
I crossed paths with Jack ennino
at a cross walk
he gave me a look
a sort of proud look
seeing a survivor, I guess.

he was balding like a vulture
but he still had that smug shit eating grin on his face
I looked at him like I knew him
I felt embarrassed for looking the way I did
flannel t-shirt
bleached out hair

trying to be myself
while facing extradition

the kids that were born while we were out fucking
they're ten times as strong
and they're ready for war
our only job now is to show them how

so vain this world
that I stay in my room and write
with just enough hope
to get hurt again
that someone would love me
someone uglier than me
the ugliness of the world
printed on our faces
it's reflection
in our drooping eyes
sour lips
and biting tongues
the bitterness shining through
with hope tucked away
hidden deeply in the iris
not letting anyone through
not letting anyone know
of what's left

now that the parade has vanished
now that the sounds and the joy has evaporated
into ancient history
we were all one
now we're nowhere to be found
shattered into a million tiny pieces
indistinguishable
unfamiliar
unremarkable
unfathomable
to think that we were kings
in this dirty jacket
in these worn out clothes
stood a piece of the puzzle
the mob in full force
forcing the direction of the tide
taking hold of all that was sacred
standing on mountain tops
claiming all the worlds treasures
and then,
from concrete to sand
from tall structures to foot prints
hieroglyphics
mispronounced and misinterpreted
nothing of what it was
everything must begin anew
to everything an ending
to everything remorse
to everything, shattered mirrors and burnt out candles
to everything no more

what can we do Courtney?
What can we do?
no matter what
"something good will come from this"
Yea? What? and When?
I've been standing here
for what seems like ages
waiting for the leaf to turn
to see the colors change
eat my cancer
We turned black
we're the ones draped in darkness
he escaped
his nonexistent memory only saw flowers in bloom
only saw the best in us all
was it betrayal
or was it destiny
was it anything at all?
has it dwindled?
so far, all the way down
into some miserable poet
from no where
with nothing to say
nothing that hasn't been heard before
he knew with every glance
with every breath
time was short
terminally mentally ill
a ticking time bomb
he was always in control
no one can take that from him
we can scream and spit on his grave
he's impervious.

like it were yesterday
like it were yesterday

it's all over now.
time to go home.
the lights are on.
he gave us his all and then said good night.
it just isn't any fun anymore.
any of it.
to take things so seriously.
we laugh now, just to ease the pain.
we lost the war.
it was just another trend.
it started dying from the word go.
and now the vultures are having an eating contest.
they chew on our remains.
the ones left standing.
to watch it all disappear.
oh how we hold on.
how we never forget.
vanquished by time.
the irrelevance in the eyes of eternity.
and nothing has happened since.
nothing that was worth noticing.
the billionaires and their toys.
dangling shiny objects in front of the docile crowd.
hypnotized by ignorance.
let them bleed
let them starve
no one taught us how to fight.
and we melted the entire system.
but now they all want it for free.
so the game is finished.
the only ones that make it to the top
are the ones who are placed there.
a million nine elevens
a million suicide cults
spitting in jesus' face.
while jumping head first into failure
never allowed to love
never allowed to be in the moment
fixated on the idea
that nothing lasts forever